Pump or no pump

After our rollercoaster day, I made an appointment with the diabetic educator. It had been a few months since we last checked in. Her response to Nathanael's rollercoaster was we need to think about a pump. This of course made his day. She explained that a pump would better keep him regulated especially since he is heading into puberity. She explained that a pump would give him insulin continusously helping him to keep his blood suger more stable. I resumed my research on pumps. Trying to figure out costs and which was is the best for Nathanael. Insulin pumps are like anything else. There are so many models with a lot of features. The price range varies from $800 to $8,000. The cheapest I have found on the internet is the Omnipod. This is a tubeless system. The insulin goes in a pod which the person wears and carries a remote. The nice thing of this one is that its tubeless. The pods are $85 for a pack of 10. Our insurance does help cover the cost of a pump and supplies. Pumps are considered durable medical equipment. What that means is that we pay 100% of the cost until we reach our deductible. Then we pay 25% of the cost. Our cost per month is going to just about double each month if we choose to get a pump. I am struggeling with the idea of getting him a pump. Not just for the increased costs but I want to make sure Nathanael really truely knows how to manage his diabetes. This is still really new to us and I want him to manage on his own first. He tends to not think about what he is eating or isn't counting correctly (if he counts at all). He is too much of a free spirit. He figures he can correct later. This makes me crazy! Today he had been home by himself most of the day. By the time I got home and made supper, his blood sugar was in the 400's. He just doesn't realize what he is doing. Sometimes he needs constant supervision. This is our first Christmas with diabetes and so far it isn't going so well. He just doesn't have self control. It's hard to expect him to have self control when we adults don't have self control when it comes to food. The only difference is, is that our pancreas does its job. Nathanael's doesn't.

What a day!

Today has been the worst rollercoaster ever. Nathanael got up this morning not feeling well. His blood sugar was the lower today than it's been in awhile. He was 194. He was feeling sick to his stomach. He had 2 pieces of toast for breakfast. By 10 he was 284. It's normal for him to have his spike about 10 but he still wasn't feeling well. He ate a half peanut butter sandwich & took some insulin. After fourth period, which was gym today, he had dropped to 232 & still not feeling well. So I told him I would pick him up at lunch & take him home. For lunch he was 154. He had some soup & insulin. I sent him to bed. After an almost 2 hour nap, his blood sugar was 66. He had a glass of milk and a snack. His blood sugar 2 hours later was in the 300's! Supper tonight was a cheese omlet & more insulin. Then his blood sugar dropped to 150 in an hour. Then an hour later he is 69. I just gave him another glass of milk. Not sure what's going on but I do know this doesn't feel good for him. He had a hard time doing homework tonight. He just can't concentrate. I may be getting up during the night tonight to check his level.

Thanksgiving

This Thanksgiving is another first event for our family. It is the first thanksgiving since diagnosis. We will be spending the day with family. It is always hard for me to not hover and Thursday will not be different. I don't know what kinds of food will be around. I won't know serving sizes, how many carbs are in the foods. Talk about increased stress level! I can feel the stress now.

Need a new year

We often tell people who have had many struggles during the year that we hope they have a better year next year.  Or "I bet you can't wait for the new year."  In fact, this comment was made to me today.  I know what the person meant when it was said but it got me thinking.  Nathanael has had a tough year.  But next year isn't going to be much better.  He will still have diabetes.  He will still struggle to maintain his blood sugar.  Yes I do hope that next year is better.  He has had a tough year.  He was diagnosed in April.  He has had colds, like most kids do.  He jammed his finger and managed to chip a bone in that finger.  He sprained his ankle 3 times this year, the same ankle.  To top it off, I hope, he fell in the shower last night and hurt his back.  So I do hope that next year is better.  But he is 12 and has accidents and will get colds.  Unfortunately until there is a cure,  he will still have diabetes.

The daily yo-yo

I think the hardest part of diabetes is that everyday is different.  Yesterday, Nathanael had a really good day. He woke up with a really good number and stayed low all day. (In the lower to mid 100's) We were able to just count carbs and take enough insulin to cover what he was eating and not add anything for a correction. His highest number all day was 188.  He hasn't been this good in a while.  It seems that he has only been chasing his blood sugar and yesterday was not like that. Yesterday during bowling, he was starting to get cranky and not bowl so well.  I gave him some beef jerky and he got his head back in the game.  His response was, maybe I was just hungry.  Sometimes he just doesn't know if he is hungry.

Today has been a completely different day.  He woke up with a blood sugar of 266.  He was acting like he just didn't feel well.  By the time he ate breakfast an hour later, he had risen to 276.  Then after church, 3 hours later, he was in the 300's.  Technically, he blood sugar should be the lowest 3 hours later.  The Novolog is good for 4 hours.  He gets so frustrated when his blood sugar is high and there is no reasonable explanation of why.  Then he tends to over compensate on his insulin for lunch.  He took a fairly large shot and ate some lunch.  He is now finally under 200.  Will he stay there?  I have no idea.  That's what's so frustrating.  Different foods behave so different in his system.  Then if you combine foods, who knows how they will react to him.  Never ending saga.  What was life like before diabetes?  It is hard to remember and it's only been 6 months. We definitely have it easier than a lot of people but it is still a daily struggle, not knowing what the day will be like.

Diabetes & the whole family

Diabetes effects the whole family.  Everyone in the house has had to learn how to check blood sugar and give shots.  This proves to be challenging to do during the night.  I'm getting pretty good at checking blood sugar.  The hardest part is when he pulls his hand away just as I am ready to get the drop of blood on the test strip.  He never wakes up completely and he never remembers me coming to his room.  We are also very fortunate that he doesn't drop to dangerous lows during the night so I do not need to check him during the night.  Because we have been getting up so early in the morning, Nathanael goes to bed quite early.  So I end up giving him his Levemir shortly after 9.  This is when I check his blood sugar.

The whole family is learning how to count carbs and to measure our food.  When we dish our plates, everyone has to dish their plate into servings.  We go through a lot of measuring cups in a day.  (Some people use their measuring cups to bake each day, we use ours to fix our plates.)  To make it easier for him at school, I write the carb count on the zip lock bags that contain his food.  He is learning to adapt when eating.  There are times that he gets full and cannot finish his plate.  This can be very bad because he took a shot for the amount of carbs on his plate.  There are times he will drink a glass of milk to compensate for the carbs that he will not be eating.

Another frustrating part about about blood sugar is that it is completely unpredictable.  He can go to bed with good levels and he wakes up high.  This took me a long time to figure out.  I still don't understand it. Our bodies go through a reset during the night and this causes blood sugar to rise.  He probably wouldn't be starting high if he was able to sleep a couple more hours.  He gets so upset when he is high.  He tries so hard to keep it down.  Sometimes he over compensates and takes too much insulin.  (This causes an entirely new problem.  When he drops too fast, he doesn't feel well.  He gets a headache and he feels like he's going to be sick.)  Today has been a good day.  He started at 176 and at 10 AM which is 4 hours after his first shot, he was actually lower.  Then at lunch he was below 100.  This hasn't happened ever at school.

Another frustration about diabetes is that every day is different.  We have been very fortunate to not have to deal with too many lows.  Nathanael tends to run high most days.  Luckily he stays in the 200's. Ideally we would like him to stay closer to 100 but that is really hard.  Especially when you are a 12 year old boy.  All he wants to do is eat.  Foods that have low or no carbs are expensive and don't last long around the house. (Not to say that we kept a lot of junk food around the house.  But I never use to buy beef jerkey on a regular basis.  I also didn't always keep nuts of some sort around the house.) So what ends up happening when he is home by himself after school is he eats and then doesn't realize how much he had and then when I get home from work his blood sugar is out of control.  It sure would be nice to be able to take a pill and make it better.

The past six months has been filled with many firsts.  I feel like Nathanael is starting life over.  He is experiencing everything all over again.  He had his first sleep over having diabetes, he went to Bible camp for a week. (That was stressful on me!!)  We went through our first Halloween.  Halloween proved to be a little easier than I thought it would be.  He participated in trunk or treat at the church and brought home a bag of candy.  He mixed his candy with the candy we bought for Halloween.  We only had a small amount left.  I have put it away and give out a few pieces at a time.  He doesn't ask for it like he had in the past.  It is nice to have some candy around to take with us to use if he goes low.  Coming up next week is his first Thanksgiving.  He will be eating foods that he hasn't eaten since diagnosis.  There are just some foods we avoid.  Food is so hard when a person you love has diabetes!

Struggle, Battle, which is it?

Last night the kids and I went to a ballet where a portion of the proceeds were going to go to the diabetic care needs at the local hospital.  It was being done because one of the dancers battles Type 1 Diabetes.  During the performance, I was thinking about the term battle.  When I hear the word battle, I think of a war where there is a winner and a loser.  Is that what it is like for a person with diabetes?  Is there going to be a winner and a loser?  I think of people with cancer.  You always hear that "they are battling breast cancer."  But with cancer, people go into remission and they essentially win the battle.  Do people with diabetes ever really win?  This is a daily struggle, a daily fight.  Sometimes diabetes ends up winning but does the person who has it wins? People with diabetes have a tougher time when they get other illnesses.  Diabetes makes it more difficult to fight illnesses.

Less than two months after Nathanael was diagnosed, I was speaking with a lady that I have known most of my life.  Her son has diabetes.  I referred to Nathanael as a diabetic.  She told me that she never refers to her son as a diabetic.  He HAS diabetes.  Diabetes doesn't define who he is.  She was right.  I think about this often and remind Nathanael that diabetes is an illness that he has, the illness doesn't have him. Nathanael IS a 12 year old boy.  He IS very musical.  He plays 3 instruments, the baritone, tuba, & trombone.  He IS very smart.  He IS also very athletic.  He HAS an auto immune disease called type 1 diabetes.

Nathanael considers his diabetes frustrating, not a battle.   I certainly don't consider it a battle.  Unless there is a cure, there isn't going to be a winner or a loser, If I have anything to say about it.  If there has to be a winner, it won't be diabetes.  Nathanael is tougher that this terrible disease that has taken over and forever changed the way we look at food.